The Dilemma of Success: The Solution

So in my last post, I was discussing the inherent problems with being a person or an enterprise that is goal-oriented. In this post, I would like to present a solution that we can use as individuals or as companies that will allow us to not only reap the future benefits of being goal oriented, but also allow us to have the freedom and awareness to remain fluid in our approach. 

You may recognize this video, but take a look at it to remind yourself of what exactly was said:

Now when we finally made it to the moon, did we really gain anything from the actual event of man walking on the moon? No! The quality of life was not enhanced one iota for most people when Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. Was it a pivotal moment in history? Yes, but it didn't really change the quality of everyday life for people in the slightest.

So what did we get from the moon? Well as a nation, we developed the ability perhaps for better space flight. The goal also forced scientists to come up with better more efficient ways to develop space shuttles and mission control. You could also say that it paved the way for better satellite communications and information technology as a whole. But did all that come from Neil bouncing around up there?? No, that was just the victory lap! That's the same thing as saying a football player spiking a ball in the end zone is the reason he scored a touchdown.

What I'm saying is this: a goal is ultimately just the finish line. The value is not in the goal itself but in the processes, beliefs, habits, and abilities obtained en route to that goal.

Anybody who has ever been successful at anything will tell you that the achievement of the goal is ultimately anti-climatic. Which leads us to ask, what is the point of sacrificing present alternatives or even contentment for a future anti-climatic moment? It just doesn't make sense.

That being said, we can still reap the progressive benefits of being goal-oriented without having to go through every day in a constant state of lack, whether you are talking about an individual or an organization.

Instead of just setting a goal and going for it, break it down into what processes you'll need to achieve that goal. What kind of habits will you need to get into? How do you need to think about it? What is the best way to approach it? Why do you want it in the first place? What skills will you need to master?

An example of the difference is this: let's say you want to make a million dollars in the next five years. You can either learn ways to make it or win some sort of sweepstakes, which one would be more valuable to you? Well, the future value of learning how to make it on your own far exceeds the winning of any sweepstakes because all things being equal, the processes, habits, skills, and approaches you've obtained along the way will probably allow you to do it again and again even further down the road. That is why there are so many turnaround stories of millionaires who lost it all then made it all back again because they had acquired the necessary processes to replicate their success many times over.

By being process oriented, rather than just goal oriented, we create a success engine more like a car rather than a pump-cart on a railroad track. Goals require us to push, processes only require us to steer. What would you rather do? :o)

Think processes and habits. Goals and objectives will change often, processes and habits will not.

The Dilemma of Success: The Catch 22 of Being Goal Oriented

I think we've all have heard of how being goal oriented is one of the habits of highly successful people and enterprises. I know we all can see how being goal-oriented makes logical sense as to why it can lead to success. However, there are some pretty non-obvious things about this mind frame that I'd like to point out.

When an individual or an enterprise becomes goal-oriented, they are essentially saying "Here is my goal. I chose this goal to enhance something to a state of betterment." Because of this, an acknowledged state of discontent is an absolute must. In other words, in order for a goal to become a goal, a person or enterprise has to be willing to admit to themselves that the current state of their objective is inadequate and warrants becoming better

Discontent is the fuel of the "goal-oriented locomotive". Without discontent, the engine does not function and the train doesn't move. The dilemma that this introduces is that being goal-oriented requires one to constantly be in a state of discontent. So my question to you is this: how do you think that mind frame affects the interpretation and experience of the present moment?

In my mind, I believe it seriously diminishes both the experience of the present moment and the value of present and future alternatives. A goal-oriented mind frame both has the advantages and disadvantages of hyper-focus. The advantages being the intensity of one's focus and the disadvantage being one's lack of awareness of equally valuable alternatives.

I think we are all familiar with the image of a ladder when it comes to success, however I feel that this image is inadequate and restrictive. The problem with a single ladder is that it restricts you to only two directions: up or down. Have you ever seen firefighters using only one ladder to put out a fire? Rarely, they usually use multiple ladders and even if they were were to use one, they'd move it around. Instead I think when it comes to success, you are better off thinking of it more like this:

Who would have known that you were already learning the principles of success when you were playing games as a child? Ha! This image is a lot more applicable to success because inevitably, success is rarely in a straight line (i.e up or down). You can ask any successful athlete or entrepreneur about this and they will agree. A setback isn't necessarily a step down but could also be one in a whole new promising direction, just like a promotion or an advancement could be a step ultimately in the wrong direction of where we want to be.

All that being said, the inherent value of being goal-oriented is undeniable when it comes to success, but it comes at the high cost of constant discontent. Is there any way we can have our metaphorical cake and eat it too?

Believe it or not there is, which I am going to discuss in my next posting...

A Quick Note on New Year's

New Year's is a funny thing really. It's one of the only days out of the entire year where everyone is both positive and goal-oriented, hence New Year's resolutions. People are all amped up about the next year and all the things they want to do and accomplish. Then comes January 2nd and everybody has an excuse to go back into their foul grumpy moods because after all, New Year's was yesterday!

Why do we choose only to make resolutions on December 31st when there are 364 other just as valid days in a year? Why do we feel so positive one night out of the year when the only difference between that night and other nights is that we are watching a clock and counting backwards??

It seems like one of the best resolutions one could make this year is to treat every day like its New Year's. To be able to wake up and say "it's a brand new day, this one's going to be even better than the last" could give us so much psychological momentum, it would be amazing the experiences we'd have. To consistently start our days with a list of things to do and check them off as we go along could reinforce such a can-do attitude that all of a sudden that mountain of debt doesn't look so daunting, or that weight loss program too hard, or that promotion so far off as you thought!

New Year's isn't just an event, it's a state of mind we can have year round. So if I see you in June and I wish you a Happy New Year, you might not think I'm so crazy after all, right?

Ehh, let's not push it, John...

;O)

Using Thanksgiving To Thrust Yourself Forward

First of all Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, if you're reading this I congratulate you on a) not being in a carb induced coma and b) reading on a day of rest.

Thanksgiving is a day when people hang back and relax with family and friends, eat a lot, watch football, and fall asleep. All these things have their place at some point during the day and should be enjoyed thoroughly, but I'd also like to suggest something wholesome and developmental.

I've been looking at the day like this: today we unwind and maybe throw the diet out the window for a day, but its also a great opportunity to reflect and map some stuff out. All the everyday garbage is out of our heads and we can now see the road ahead objectively, and that's a huge advantage that shouldn't go to waste!

To use a crude metaphor, we're both the cast-iron and the metalworker working on it...today's the day to remove yourself from the flame and allow yourself to cool to see what shape has taken form. Make some decisions as to what you want to become and then thrust yourself back into the fire. 

Use today to look at how far you've come and what you've done great these last few months. Similarly, look at what you've done not so great. Start to see how both the good and the bad have contributed to your current quality of life. Are you where you want to be? If not, are you on the right path? How do you know? What indicators have you chosen to let you know at this point?

If these are things you haven't considered in the past, its never to late to start! What to you want to do by, let's say, January? Why do you want to do it? What will you have gained from it? How do you think that will make you feel? What are you willing to do (or not do!) everyday to succeed? How do you know you've achieved it? And most importantly...how will this enhance the quality of life for you forever once you've got it? After all, nothing is worth accomplishing if the effects are only temporary or unsustainable.

These types of questions really help to strip back the layers of bologna when we are trying to make a change, but really aren't committing to it. If anything these types of questions can help realize just how unimportant something is to us! A lot of people have weight loss goals but find their only motivation is to look better. That's just the surface! They never considered how they'd feel about themselves, what they'd learn from it, why its important and how their success will enhance their lives beyond the goal itself.

These types of layer-penetrating questions can help us reach deeper levels of desire for success so that we are completely aligned with our goals for transformation. Wishing the best of holiday weekends to you, your families, and your friends!